happy new year

HAPPY NEW YEAR! We celebrated and ushered in the new year with friends, food and Wii Nintendo, which equals lots of fun. This year was a monumental year because we thought it would be fun to have Abbie join in on the festivities. Abbie loved staying up late and had lots of fun doing it. And by-the-way, she is really good at Wii bowling!

chicken pox and santa claus

Santa Claus-
One of our holiday traditions includes visiting Santa at the local Mall. This was Asher's first trip to see Santa. This year, we not only saw Santa, but Mrs. Claus as well. Abbie made sure she listed her must-have gifts on a letter to Santa.
Chicken Pox-
We usually alternate between my family and Sarah's family for our Christmas day celebrations. This year we had planned on visiting my Mother and entire family in Manhattan. In the few days leading up to Christmas, Jason's 2 daughters contracted the chicken pox. We didn't want Asher and Abbie to have the pox yet as well as my risk for contracting the shingles, so we unfortunately had to change our plans.
Joe's back-
Although we had to change our plans at the last moment, we were able to spend Christmas Eve and Christmas with Sarah's family, including her brother Joe, who traveled back to the States from Prague. Good to have to back Joe!
Chicken foot-
In honor of the Christmas out break of Chicken Pox, we played a dominoes game, called Chicken Foot. In past years it has been Texas Hold 'em, but this year it was Chicken Foot. It was fun and didn't require much brain power. I highly recommend it.
The Littlest Pet Shop-
This years toy was the Littlest Pet Shop. I enjoyed finding the little pets on Abbie's wish list- chinchillas, turtles, cats, dogs, lady bugs, etc. Its fun to join Abbie in her passion for these small toys. She has never been "into" baby dolls or Barbies...its always been animals.

waiting for christmas

The days leading to Christmas are fun: Shopping. Christmas songs. Cookies. Snow. Parties. fires. And the anticipation of gifts. Similar memories I have from childhood I am now reliving through Abigail's excitement. We always place some gifts under the tree several days early and Abbie loves seeing the gifts under the tree! She has searched through the presents and moved them around and placed them where she thinks they should be. I love buying her gifts almost as much as she love receiving them. Her enthusiasm for celebrating Christmas is obvious. This excitement often overflows in song and dance. Below is an impromptu performance:

OUR DANCING KIDS!

we've been having fun watching our kiddos dance. asher has been loving his 'johnny jumper' and gets himself high off the ground. we decided to have some fun and tape him jumping... adding the sound of tap shoes to make it even funnier. the red socks make it even more silly. enjoy a short video clip.

abbie was in her first dance show today, with her class from 'leigh's school of dance'. it was the christmas show and her song was 'i love you santa claus'. she is so funny, waving at us when she spotted us, but still so focused on doing the steps and motions correct. in the music the voice says the dance steps, which is what you can see her saying... sway 2,3,4 - bounce 2,3,4 - boogie woogie, boogie woogie, jump out jump in, half way turn... her little brain was really working! i started dance when i was about 5 years old, and did well remembering all my steps. abbie is following right in my dance steps. enjoy a low quality video from the dance show today.

remembering aunt ann

over the thanksgiving holiday we were blessed to see our aunt ann one last time. the Lord called her home wednesday night after giving us a great day with her. our whole family was together, except for my brother who lives in prague, and all 13 of us got to enjoy an evening of fun and a great dinner together.

aunt ann and uncle jack traveld from omaha, which they do often. our family celebrations always include them, as they are the only extended family (on my side) we see. they do not have any of their own children, so we were like their children, and they were a big part of everything in our lives.

aunt ann loved to shop. she could find a bargain anywhere and was so good about sending packages to abbie and asher just for fun. abbie said she will miss receiving these unexpected gifts and is now with Jesus. abbie asked us "when will she come down?" she understands that heaven is a place for people who love jesus, but wants ann to return to earth with Jesus during his second coming. For now we will have to wait and we miss her until we see her again. it is still a shock but we are learning to understand it.

my mom is having a hard time losing her sister. i think it is a little scary for her, because aunt ann died the exact same way their mother died... a sudden heart attack after pains in her back. we'll be working on getting moms heart in good shape.

throughout all of this i am reminded of the importance of living in the moment. i regret not taking my camera with me on wednesday, to capture the last good times. i had it in the car, but didn't want to carry it. i'm sad that i didn't. i am disappointed in myself that i didn't share more about what abbie was doing at school, and that she started dance class with some of the money they send us. i wish she knew that. i'm sad that i planned to wait until tomorrow to talk with her. it is important to remember that we never know how life will go and to make the most of every moment. it is sad that it takes life changing events like this to remind us.

don't wait to start rejoicing this holiday season. celebrate every day and say 'i love you' as much as possible to as many people as possible. write those thank you notes and e-mails that have been piling up. make that phone call. help that friend who is in need. i think we all wait for the perfect time and sometimes that time never comes.

we are so thankful for all our friends and family who love us and share life with us. may we never take you for granted.

we love you.

homemade yumminess

today i went over to my moms to make a big supply of babyfood for asher. my two sisters were there and we all enjoyed a day in the kitchen. leah made fudge, mom made her chocolate chip bundt cake and rachel helped us all. i've had friends who made all their baby food, and with money being tight right now, i thought i would try it. it was SO easy... just time consuming. i have green beans, asparagus, squash, carrots, pears, bananas and applesauce. i put them in ice cube trays, which are 1 oz. servings, and when they are frozen solid will put them in freezer baggies. it should last 3-4 months and cost me about $35. pretty good deal! we'll see what asher likes the best!

medicine adventures (part one)

My journey with cancer requires that I consume potent medicine for pain management. Methadone is one of these medicines that is a necessary part of my routine and it controls the bone pain in my hip and sacrum. I have constant uncomfort that cannot be alleviated without it I have noticed that this medicine is different than other medicines, in that it has more rigid rules. First, it can only be presented to a pharmacist with the original hand written script; therefore it cannot be faxed or phoned. Also, unlike many medicines which allow you to refill it a number of times, I have to have a new hand written script for every refill. Finally, my insurance will only permit a new refill a few days before my current one is about to expire. This can be a pain in the you-know-what, especially if you are about to run out around the same time you are leaving town for a vacation and you are not allowed to refill the medicine. It’s a hassle but I live with it.

Last month, following an uneventful and routine visit with my oncologist, I received a new prescription for Methadone. Although I had 3 more weeks remaining on my current Methadone prescription, my doctor gave me a new script so I would not have to travel back to the cancer center just to pick up a prescription. Last Monday, I had three days of Methadone remaining so I looked for my prescription and I could not find it. The following day, I thought, well maybe I already dropped it off at my pharmacy? They did not have it. I looked through a pile of papers where I would have placed it. I could not find it. The following day I had one full day of pills remaining so I searched through every piece of paper, every recent paid bill, unpaid bill, I even looked in every drawer, and coupon pile. I searched every possible location. I did not find it.

It was now Friday, I had one pill remaining (I use 3 pills per day). I called my nursed and asked for another prescription-something I have done many times before. I did not hear back from the nurse and wanted to get the script before she left for the day so we drove to the cancer center in Shawnee Mission. After we arrived at the cancer center, I was shocked to discover that my nurse would not provide me with a new script until I filed a police report for my lost prescription. I was a little shocked by this. It was 2:45 and my nurse was leaving for the weekend at 4:00. I was a little worried.

We asked for the location of the nearest police dept. Only a half mile away from the cancer center…wonderful! We arrived at the police dept and spoke with the officer at the window. Our very brief conversation informed us that we would have to file a report at the police dept in our city of Olathe…Oh No. It was now 3:15 and there was absolutely no way for us to drive back to Olathe, file a report, and drive back to the cancer center by 4pm. No pain medicine all weekend...I totally freaked out!

To be continued…

premature celebration

I was interrupted and notified late last night that I celebrated prematurely. I was Interrupted while I slept and rudely notified by my nerves that my nerve pain is still a problem and unfortunately still a problem. Similar to the pain in April and May, the nerve pain intensified every hour and made it impossible to sleep. Needless to say it was a terrible night and my hope that my hip has improved has been diminished. I can not tell you how disappointed I am about this turn of events because I have been feeling better the last few weeks. This radiation treatment was my only hope at really improving my situation. I am back on Lyrica (Medicine for nerve pain) and hopefully I will not gain any more weight. I have been a 30" waist all my life and I recently bought 2 pairs of size 32" jeans...I would hate to out grow these any time soon. pray for us.

And behold he could walk

And behold he could walk-no, not Asher. I am off crutches and have down sized to a cain. I can finally walk and bear weight on my hip but it continues to be tremendously sore. Its an ouch with a little bit of Ahhh. I will be starting physical therapy to assist in the healing process. This recent dose of radiation has improved my nerve pain and as a result I have been able to quit the pain meds for nerve pain. I am very thankful to be off of this medicine because along with drowsiness and dizziness and additional side effect was weight gain. I have been the same weight for years but the last 6 months I have packed on 25 pounds of pure fat. As a result, my pants no longer fit and a new wardrobe is not in the budget...thank you LYRICA.

As winter approaches, snow and ice will present a very real hazard for me. Slipping unexpectedly on ice was a painful problem for me last winter and and the same will be true this year. Any small slip could spell trouble for my hip (nice rhyme eh?). We are keeping a watchful eye on the other areas in my body. The tumors in my lungs are not presenting any symptoms yet and so I will not be receiving any more radiation treatments for now.

Farmer Abbie and Asher the Cow