a disney preview & a trip to MD...

MD Anderson, that is. James and I will both be going on this trip- Jan. 4th and 5th. He is scheduled to start his new clinical trial this time, and we want to get as much information about it first. I am thankful that my sister, Rachel will be in town from Denver, to help my parents with Abbie and Asher while we're gone. They both LOVE Auntie Rachie!

This trip we've been blessed with being able to fly with Executive Air Share, an organization that allows cancer patients to ride in extra seats on corporate jets. We'll leave from the downtown airport and get to fly in a very comfortable (and beautiful) Phenom 100 jet! This is a HUGE answer to prayer, as there is no fee for doing this. And, you can do it as often as needed, if flights are available. So, many thanks to all of you who have been praying about this for us. The Lord continues to meet our needs in powerful ways. We will share all of the details with you once we return.

For everyone who is asking to see images from our Disney trip, you will! I am working on a show of everything, and can't wait to share it. For now, here is a little preview from our sunny day at Animal Kingdom. Abbie was a brave girl, and road the Expedition Everest roller coaster (not once but twice!) and below is her take on the experience. Notice her hiding behind daddy, and showing how her stomach felt going down the huge drop. It was a great time!May you have a blessed and happy beginning to the new year!

Merry Elf-Dancing Christmas

Merry Christmas! We express our holiday cheer through dance. Open the link below and enjoy our performance.

clinical trial

The words clinical trial may or may not be meaningful, but for a cancer patient it can mean hope-a last ditch effort to halt cancer's assault on the body. Cancer has been a vicious and cruel enemy to my body, destroying healthy cells and replacing them cancerous ones. This endless assault has created permanent damage and endless pain. My present struggle against this disease is a in the "do or die" phase of the game. I have had no promising treatment options during this long eight year struggle, but I remain hopeful this clinical trial will at least slow the cancer's progression.
I recently traveled to Houston, TX to visit MD Anderson cancer center. This world renown cancer center conducts clinical trials for all type of cancer. I will be participating in a phase one clinical trial using targeted therapies. They have viewed my medical records but more importantly they requested the pathology slides of my individual cancer cell. Under a microscope, they can view the distinct properties of the cell, helping them to formulate the treatment plan that is best for me. Many clinical trials use drug therapies which are not yet approved by the FDA and are very experimental. Fortunately, I will be using 2 FDA approved cancer treatments. The experimental part of my clinical trial is using the drugs in conjunction with one another in the treatment of cancer and the observation of side effects.
I will be using Tarceva and one other drug which is not yet known. I have been using Tarceva since June (about 6 months) and so far scans show that it may be helping the tumors in my lungs. Participating in this clinical trial will require me to travel to MD Anderson once a month for treatment and evaluation. This will be challenging both financially and physically. Flying to Houston has been expensive so far, and sitting on the plane inflames the cancer in my sacrum, causing high amounts of nerve and bone pain.

Star Wars Halloween

My Star Wars fantasy began last year. Asher was 6 months old and the perfect size to be Yoda. If he was Yoda, I would be Darth Vader but couldn't convince Abbie to dress up as Princess Leia. She was set on being a farmer (and Asher was the cow). I had an entire year to introduce Abigail to the world of Star Wars . This year Abbie knew all of the characters from all of the movies (thank you Lego video games) and she decided to dress up as Ahsoka Tano, the female Jedi from the Clone Wars. This would be the year of our star wars Halloween!
I had one minor problem, Darth Vader costumes were not cheap, unless I wanted to sport a dorky spandex outfit. If I was going to dawn the mask of Vader, it had to look good. I didn't want to spend a fortune so I had to build my costume. I spent all of October crafting my costume to look authentic. I bought the helmet, gloves and light saber but I made everything else (Bev helped with the sewing.)
Not wanting to be left out, Sarah put together a Leia outfit from the Ice planet, Hoth. Ultimately, I wanted to create a lasting memory for my kids. If they don't remember, at least they have cool pictures!
.

growing

Growth is good. Sarah and I experience obvious growth every day. We witness Abbie and Asher grow physically; We also witness their developing personalities, interests and talents. We grow in our relationships with people and God. Our bank accounts are (not) growing. As we live this life we grow in wisdom and intellect. Unfortunately, my cancer keeps right on growing too.

The cancer in my lungs is now twice as big as it was last year and as a result I have developed an asthmatic cough. The three areas in my head and neck are larger. I have noticed lately that I have had more difficulty speaking and eating and my doctor confirmed that I have lost some mobility of my tounge. This makes me really worried since I only have the use of half of my tounge .

I have been using a drug name Tarceva, a chemotherapy class drug which targets cancer cells, since May. This drug produces an acne type of rash and other skin issues. I tried this drug last year but discontinued using it after 6 months because of the rash. I have been receiving acupuncture twice a month and so far it seems to be keeping all of the side effects to a minimum. We will do some more CT scans in 3 months and we will know for sure if Tarceva is helping. If it is not I will probably pursue a clinical trial but I am hoping for the best. So as always, keep us in your prayers; pray that Tarceva would prevent the cancer from growing.

Another health note: On my recent scans, the doctors noticed that my left pelvic bone was fractured. The fracture probably occurred last August when I received radiation treatments to my hip and then was soon after unable to walk. This is the first time I learned about this but then again I have notice a painful bump for awhile. I didn't know what was wrong but I did know something wasn't normal. My advice... our body never lies, listen to it. If your body doesn't feel normal, be safe and check it out and stay on top of it!

abbie goes to school

today is the first day of kindergarten! abbie is in mrs. maggard's afternoon class and just could not wait any longer to finally get to school! there weren't any tears, just loads of excitement and eagerness into this next phase of life. she is so ready, and we know she will do a great job. her desk is right in the front... which we'll see if that's a good or bad thing (for mrs. maggard!). i'm sure she will let everyone know all about her class and we'll try to get her words on the blog so you can hear about kindergarten from her view!

he's getting so big!

i took asher to deanna rose on friday with my sister leah and her two kids. we had a great time, and asher really enjoyed making noises at all the animals. i had the chance to grab some shots of asher and have my new all time favorite image of him. enjoy!

asher wins

the second part of the previous post, where asher does get abbies toys and tosses them off the bar stool, will not download! i have been working on taking movies with my new canon camera and the files are really large, and this movie won't upload. any suggestions on how to shrink the size of movies before uploading?

funny [clever] boy!

asher is so funny. he is always making me [sarah] laugh, and i try to always make him laugh! he is changing so much, i thought i'd put out some videos. abbie has been learning that she needs to move her toys away from him, out of his reach, if she doesn't want him to have them [video1]. she tried, but as you'll see he didn't take long to figure out he could reach them.... listen for her 'growl' [video2 in next post] when she sees what he's done. so funny! **we have a chicago post down lower, so don't miss that!**

10

We had a very delightful 10th anniversary! We spent 5 days in Chicago-the best "us" vacation since our Honeymoon. We stayed at the Drake Hotel down in the heart of the city and traveled all over the beautiful city. Our transportation included walking (a little too much for my pathetic body and by week's end I was experiencing pain), taxi, bus and the el-train. We dined in some very tasty restaurants. We enjoyed some deep dish at Gino's, warmed up with a spicy Blood Mary or Bloody Mike's as the call it at Ditka's. And we even spotted Mike Ditka as we were leaving. We dined in China Town, Navy Pier and filled ourselves to the full at many other places. I probably would have gained weight if it wasn't for all of the walking.

Some of the highlights from our trip included traveling by boat through the city on an architectural boat tour. This was a wonderful way to experience the city; We took the self guided Frank Lloyd Wright tour and his home and studio tour. His home was so innovative, impressive and ahead of its time. We spent an evening at the famous Navy Pier and an afternoon looking at sea creatures at the Shedd Aquarium; we were in the city during the The Taste of Chicago food festival-lots of food and even more people and some really cool street performances; of course the view from the John Hancock building was great but the most unique event we experienced was the strange and oddly satisfying Blue Man Group. This performance is definitely different but we recommend it!

Its been 10 years since Sarah and I first said "I Do," and every moment has been filled with bliss...mostly. We have had our ups and downs. Our "ups" have been crazy wonderful; our "downs" have have certainly terrible but it has all been better together. I can not image anyone else by my side-I all the more believe that The LORD definitely and divinely brought us together. He knew I would need an strong, thoughtful and supportive woman. She is peace in the midst of the storm and in this story I think I am the storm. Thank you for this lady. I look forward to celebrating our 20.

Manhattan or Bust

Traveling with young children is challenging. Can I hear an amen? Amen! And traveling without Sarah is even more challenging. Sarah wanted some "alone time," this summer in order to accomplish things we hinder her from doing, or in other words James had to leave with the kids for 4 days. We traveled to Manhattan to visit family and a few friends. Abigail has always been a very good traveler but Asher proved not to be as he began whining soon after we hit the road (He doesn't like sitting still for very long). Abbie had fun feeding family's two dogs pieces of bread as they performed dog tricks. Abbie also loved sleeping over with cousin Leah. Asher had fun chewing on new and different objects. One particular night, after hanging out at my parents home, I returned to my grandma's home (the place we were sleeping) as thunder storm hit and knocked out the electricity at about 8pm and the power didn't return until around noon the following day...Asher didn't seem to mind.

Another late afternoon and early evening we spent time with the Vandorn family. This was the first really hot day and so it was a perfect day to take a dip in their community pool. We all had fun! Additionally, The Stewart and the Nutter families were enjoying the pool too-its was a pool reunion. And in grandma fashion, my Grandmother made our entire family a feast before leaving town so we were all fat and happy as we left town. Of Course we were all happy to return to see Sarah-But she was at a Bible study until 11pm and So Abbie cried "I want to see mommy" as I tucked her in for bed. Welcome home James.

treasure hunt

Abbie and I created a treasure map while Sarah was away on a photo shoot. Our authentic treasure map, including burnt edges and candle wax from hundreds of years of use, provided detailed directions to our buried treasure in our backyard. When Sarah returned, she followed the map through the perils of our back yard and risking her own life until she arrived at the treasure. I had fun showing Abbie how to create the perfect Map and Abbie enjoyed finding the treasure!

our summer backyard campout

On a cool evening in June, when the weather was just right, Abbie and I pitched a tent and set up a our camp site in the backyard. Our summer fun began with delicious food from the grill. As we ate our dinner (saving room for s'mores), Asher played in the baby pool. After Asher had splished his last splash, Sarah prepared him for bed while Abbie and I readied the fire. The sun was now setting as we roasted marshmallows over our fire pit in pursuit of the perfect s'more. Abbie sat toasting her marshmallow to perfection, with a huge smile accoss her face and said "This is my best day ever!" And it was a perfect day. Now our bellies were full and with bedtime upon us, Abbie and I headed to our tent for the night. We read books and watched a short movie which we had checked out earlier that day from the library. Yes, it's true, I had a laptop and we watched a movie in our tent... I never said we were roughing it. Our perfect day ended as we drifted off to sleep. In fact Abbie enjoyed it so much, we slept in the tent the following night. Great food, camp fire, s'mores, a borrowed tent, a borrowed air mattress, free entertainment and time with my daughter. It was one of my best days too!

Asher enters manhood

That's one small step for Asher, one giant leap for us all. Okay, manhood maybe extreme but Asher finally took his first steps and may I add, on his own initiative! Until now, he has shown no interest in walking unassisted, but he took 2 small steps followed by a leap towards me. After his first baby steps, we made him do it over and over and he was enjoying ever step. At times he was exuding so much joy in his new accomplishment, he was taking several quick little steps...too quick for the rest of his body. Up next on his accomplishment list-soccer!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BOYS!

both of my boys had their birthdays last week, so we celebrated them together. this will be the first of many times they share a cake, the bday song, and asher will probably always get more presents than james. i think james felt a little jipped in the whole thing though. he grew up with a twin brother. jason was more outgoing, and as he remembers, ALWAYS blew out the candles on their shared cake. well, this year his shared cake was with his son- but abbie blew out the candles for them. he was waiting for the one year he'd be able to blow them out and in swooped those little lips of abbie's and poof! he missed his chance again. maybe next year, baby... maybe.

we had a great time with friends and family and asher LOVED the cake. he is so happy, and full of life- a true blessing to our lives.

as james begins a new year of life, he will face new and harder battles with tumors returning to his jaw. the treatment is going to be rougher and the hope is getting smaller. but we know that God is the God of the impossible, and we will continue to live in the hope that he is able to do more than we imagine.

now, let them eat cake!

R.O.C.K in the USA!

to celebrate abbie's 5th birthday we threw a big rock n' roll party in the backyard! this is the first year the weather in april has cooperated and what a huge blessing that was! i tried to clean out the garage to set up the stage, but there is no way there would have been enough room. her friends all brought their own instruments and with marjorie's help we got a stage set up for them to perfom. the first game was called FREEZE PLAY! everyone played their instruments until abbie held up the STOP sign. whoever made the last noise got to go join abbie in dancing. it came down to two boys, and at this age it's too hard to declare only one winner. our friend noah made a turn table, that he was sliding his record on, like a dj! it was so creative. our next game was called RHYME TIME! we split into groups and they each made up a song using rhyming words. my group simply sang, "see the dog and a frog on the log... yaaaaaa". abbie's group sang "jingle pig, jingle pig wearing a nice wig. he danced a jig and ate a fig, jingle jingle pig". the last group sang about skat the cat, "i had a big cat with a silver hat. i wanted to chat but he ate a rat then he told me to skat... dubi du bop bop du bop and a rat a tat tat." it was a great time! we made ice cream sundaes instead of a cake and then a dance party started. it was a great night.

we are so blessed to have a great group of friends to share good times with. this will be a big year for abbie as she finishes her soccer team, possibly starting a karate class and she will start kindergarten in the fall! we love her so much and are so proud of the creative and compassionate young lady we see.

you can enjoy a glimpse into the party by watching the show! enjoy!

www.sorellimages.com/theparty/

ABBIE IS FIVE!

last tuesday abbie turned five! it is hard to believe...

we have a big rock n' roll birthday party friday night and will have a lot of fun photos to share! here are a few of the actual birthday, which was packed full of fun.

we love you, little miss abbie. keep loving God and growing into

the beautiful woman we're seeing.

spring soccer started today

GGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!

abbie has been wanting to play on a soccer team and today her 6 week spring session started! it was so cold, but with 3 layers on we headed out to the field. her good friend jack is on her 'team' and they had a great time pretending to score goals! their coach was so enthusiastic and really wanted to make it a great experience for them. he remembered all their names right away, and paid good attention to each of them. it was really refreshing to see. they started at 6pm, getting new shirts and soccer balls. after some free time, they played tag, trying to dribble the ball and catch the coach. when they caught him 3 times he had to do something funny. they chose jumping jacks, push ups and star jumps. i'm sure he is glad i have photos of him doing his star jumps! they loved it though.

they did a few warm up stretches, on the ground... the cold, soaking wet ground. abbie hates getting wet and so she chose to do the stretches standing up. in the end this really paid off, because she never got cold and stayed dry the whole time. you can see the wet and muddy spots all the other kids have on the back of their shirts but not abbie. she is a crack up!

after several more rounds of tag and some different drills with the ball they split up and played 4 on 4 mini games. it is funny to watch them try to chase the ball, get control of the ball, head toward their goal and then get the ball taken away. i had to remind abbie that she wasn't supposed to get mad but to get the ball back. it is an interesting thing to teach her. she isn't used to running after someone to take something away from them, but she'll quickly learn.

her legs got tired, but she loved the whole thing. each tuesday from 6-7 they'll be out there learning, growing and exploring the sport of soccer.

enjoy the slideshow of the day.

www.sorellimages.com/soccer2009/

star wars

I have recently introduced Abbie to one of my childhood pleasures-Star Wars. I will be honest, even today when I pass by the toy aisle at Wal-Mart, I will purposefully find the Star Wars action figures. I own all the Star Wars DVDs and I am always in the mood to watch one of the films. Therefore it is no surprise that as I was shopping for Christmas gifts, my eyes were drawn to a Star Wars, the original trilogy, video game. Every Thursday is daddy-daughter Star Wars Day when we play the video game. Abbie enjoys playing this game and has learned all of the characters. Sometimes we will even break out my vintage Star War figures and separate them into what episode they appeared. Abbie and I spent some time this week drawing Boba Fett and Darth Vader:

the dance recital costume is here!

abbie has been in a dance class this year, and today she brought home her costume. i (sarah) spent most of my childhood and highschool in dance and for me, getting the costume is an exciting thing! i had her try it on right away, and in true abbie form, she was annoyed with the itchy sequins. of course.

her recital is in june, at the leid center in lawrence and the theme is ' the beatles'. her dance is 'the yellow submarine', so they are all sailors. she looks so cute in it, and is ready to do her funky chicken moves and strike a pose. enjoy a few images of her looking ready to perform!

a day in the life of a stay-at-home dad

Cancer has altered our lives in many ways. One of those ways is as a stay-at-home dad. As a young man, I never pictured my self in this role. Fortunately, I have a wife who has a job using her talents as a photographer. Often times she has a morning and afternoon photo shoot and if she is really ambitious she will meet with a friend after that.
Her absence leaves me plenty of time with Abbie and Asher. Saturday was one of those days. It began with our weekly ritual of "Daddy and Daughter Donut Day." I do this every week so Abbie has something special to look forward to with her dad (and its a nice excuse to eat a donut). After feeding the kids lunch, Abbie helped me measure all the ingredients to make bread-Do not be too impressed, the bread machine did most of the work.
Sarah returned home and we played outside on our swing set. I convinced Abbie that a paper machete Easter egg would be a fun project- it was an easy sell. It was very messy and fun. We will paint it after it dries. Abbie and I also spent time searching for The Littlest Pet Shop animals on eBay. We have been searching for the peacock, ostrich, and puffin...however, we lost all of the auctions. Sarah usually makes dinner but I made sandwiches out of the sourdough bread we made earlier. Donuts, lunch, naps, bread, playing outside, paper machete, searching for toys on eBay and even dinner...I think I have found my new profession.

any where but here

As we know, the biopsy discovered cancer in the area of my right hyoid bone. The cancer is near the original site and and is located under my chin and tougue. This new revelation explains the pain and problems I have been having recently with speaking and eating. As we discussed the location of this new growth, along with seeing it on the CT scan, I was filled with the horrified feeling you get upon receiving bad news. For me, this was the worst possible news I could receive and the only area I did not want the cancer to return. A small bump on my head-no big deal; Caner in my lungs-no problem; The pain from cancer in my hip and sacrum-not fun but I can live with it; This new cancer in my hyoid/mouth/jaw is much larger than I thought (size of a quarter) and therefore has the potential for further damage to speaking and eating.

The doctor (ENT) , who specializes in head and neck cancer, shared different treatment options with us: Do nothing, radiation, or surgery. The doctor said a surgery would be 50 times more difficult than his original surgery...so, No to the way- surgery is not a viable option. And of course doing nothing will allow the cancer to grow. Radiation is the only logical option and in the doctors words, radiaiton will "stun it" and stop the cancer from growing for a while. So eventually it may reappear it this area just like it continues to do in my hip/sacrum area. Therefore radiation will buy me a few years without serious issues. I will start radiaiton treatment as soon as the doctors can develop a treatment plan.

"its positive"

"Its positve." The word "its positive" are wonderful words. We heard these words in response to our first pregnacy test. I have used them to describe my performance evaluation from my former employer. I always strive to leave a positve impression on the new neighbor or a potential client. As a father my goal is to be a positive example on my children. My day is always better if a have a positive outlook on life. Its wonderful to live a life of positive things. The only time I hate being positive is after a biopsy. Yet the words we received speaking with the nurse today were, "the result is positive." I have at least one confirmed cancerous area near my hyoid bone on my right side; and I am still suspicious of an area under my left jaw bone. These areas are in very delicate locations and wisdom will be needed when attempting to do what is best. The last time I had cancer in this general area it had tremdendous consequences.
I would appreciate your prayers for wisdom. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.

crawling to say hi

asher is 10 months old and crawling all over the place. today he added a wave to his list of 'skills'. here is a quick video of him showing off his talents. sorry about the sunlight that makes him look like he is glowing... he wouldn't crawl in my path of good light. enjoy!

$447.89, $74.27, $17, $48.04, $75.70, $11.63, $259.19, $566.28

No one likes being sick. On top of feeling terrible you hand over your hard earned cash with the hope that the doctor's services will make you well. I began working for Bank of America in 2000 while I was a student in seminary. Banking was not my primary passion in life, but one reason for continuing my career with BofA after finishing seminary was due to the practical nature of having a good health insurance. For 8 years I spent about $5000 annually for insurance for my entire family. After small copays, the insurance covered our nearly all of our medical bills-an by "our medical bills." I mean primarily my medical bills mine.

Recently, my insurance benefits changed. Along with normal copays, they began requring me to pay for 20% of the medical bills. That doesn't sound too bad on paper but in the real world that 20% adds up fast. In the month of January alone, I have already spent $1476.96 in medical bills. And in comparison, the amount above is a close to the amount I had to pay all last year.

I do not share this so that you can feel sorry for us. I share this so that you might have an accurate understanding of our journey. Cancer is costly in so many ways-finacially is only one of them! Cancer has a profound influence on every area of my/our lives: emotionally, spiritually, physcially, socially, and monitarily.

OOOOOOOOkalahoma...

[remember in dirty rotten scoundrels, when steve martin ran around as 'rupret' with an eye patch on, yelling 'oklahoma, oklahoma, oklahoma- banging on a pot?! i LOVE that movie...]

hi friends! we are in oklahoma at the cancer treatment center in tulsa. it is going well so far. we've met with several doctors and met many people in similiar situations. they haven't offered anything new, as far as treatment, but we have a few new meds to try for helping the bone pain. the hospital is full of smiling faces and compassionate people. it truly is a different feeling than all other places we've been. we have more appointments tomorrow and thursday and will keep you posted on what we're told.

asher and i have been going with james to most appointments, and he's done fairly well being in the stroller (asher, not james). i know we are here to get some new ideas for james, but i think our purpose may be greater than that. and it has to do with our smiling son. he is a joy magnet and an instant smile maker. for so many people who are struggling through treatment, his little smile is making days better. i can't keep track of how many people are saying 'he is so cute' 'look at that huge smile' 'that just made my day'... he is making a difference everywhere we go. it is a reminder to us how much our children do bring joy, and we are blessed to be able to bring a bit of Christ's joy to this place.

i have a good post to do about our fun trip to colorado, but for now will just share a few fun photos.

home alone

I was left home alone. Similar to a movie of the same name, my entire family left me home alone and traveled by air to a distant city. Sarah, Abigail and Asher traveled to Denver to visit Sarah’s sister for six days. All alone and seized by fear, my survival instincts kicked-in as I relied on the distant memories from days as a bachelor. I will be very transparent and admit to something I do not do very often-I ate fast food and even indulged in a little Dairy Queen. Shhh. In these desperate economic times I made sure to order from the dollar menu and I even ordered a kid's meals from Soni with a coupon for $1.99. I was rather thrifty! Some moments were even reminiscent of my college days as I found myself eating a free meal with Friends and Parents-in-law (Thanks to the Alvarezes, Rotts, Franzes and my dad). Okay, enough talk about food.

As in introvert, I enjoyed time to myself; something I never find much of being a stay at home husband and father. The silence was strange but gave me time to think about life. An additional benefit of being home alone was a constantly clean house. A tidy house can also be a rarity with children these days. I enjoyed it so much I cleaned the entire house and I mean cleaned the house: cleaned bathrooms, dusted, vacuumed, did the laundry and even put it away.

I had more free time than normal and I kept myself busy by watching the entire fourth season of LOST on DVD. And I enjoyed every minute of it! Before some of you freak out and in defense of my bachelor behavior, I love LOST and it was a shortened 14 episodes rather than 24! I even watched every episode in surround sound with the walls vibrating (I was taking full advantage of an empty house).

Six days had passed, my family was traveling home and I had survived! I showered, shaved my beard and tearfully said good-bye to my new imaginary friend, Wilson. Although I enjoyed my time alone I was happy to welcome my family home. The love of my wife and the sounds of children are a priceless treasure. As I waited “behind the yellow line” in front of gate 39 at KCI, all that I value most in life was about to walk through the door (I accidentally crossed a line with my big toe while waiting and was quickly reprimanded by the airport security).

The first one to walk through the door? Abigail. When she finally noticed me standing at the door, she ran the rest of the way, discarded her heavy back pack and embraced me and kissed me over and over while saying “Oh daddy, daddy, daddy; Oh daddy, daddy, daddy, I missed you.” As my heart melted, I affirmed her words of affection. Man-oh-man, it doesn’t get better than that! What felt like forever later, a very weary Sarah exited the door, pushing a stroller and carrying a load of other things. Wow, what a lady! Following her was a flight attendant carrying a sleepy Asher. Abbie and I went to get the SUV to pick up Sarah and Asher. I wanted Abbie to know how happy I was to see her so I brought her a treat. As we were exiting the parking lot I opened and handed Abbie a delicious chocolate milk (from my kid’s meal earlier this week) and she instantly spilt all of it on the seat. My family is indeed home, spilt mik and all!

A footnote: As a thoughtful wife, Sarah made me 2 meals to heat up for dinner and as a forgetful husband, I forgot all about it. Opps.

dancing abbie

I LOVE watching Abigail when she is passionately and completely engaged in her activities. I delight in moments when she is in her own world singing songs. Sometimes, As my gaze is fix upon her, I will catch her eye and she will respond with a smile. Other moments I witness Abbie using her fertile imagination as she plays with toys. I am always amazed at her focus and concentration when she creates art. She is the most gifted artist her age. Also, as a father, I love seeing Abbie dribble the soccer ball around the yard and if I am able physically, I enjoy joining her. And in my completely biased opinion, she it really skilled soccer player.

Today I enjoyed observing her in dance class. She attends dance class every Tuesday and today parents were invited to watch. There are probably 20 other little girls in the room, but only one catches my eye and has my absolute attention. All of the other little dancers might be more gifted but only one captures my heart. Somehow as I watch everyone else just fades away.

I hope you enjoy these video clips as much as I do...

james' health

This is my second week of physical therapy and I have some noticeable improvements. I was unable to lift my leg from all positions and I have regained some strength-I am pretty happy about this! My leg remains really weak but small improvements have made a huge difference. My range of motion in my hip joint remains limited and stiff. We are unsure of what is going on inside my joint but I do know it doesn’t move normally, which has made walking and moving around really awkward. I am waiting for an X-ray to help guide us in my rehabilitation. If the doctor who specializes in bones and cancer concludes that I have no major issues, the therapist and I will really work on moving this hip. I am fantasizing of a day when I can walk and maybe even run around and play with children again.
I have noticed another small lump that hurts on my throat. Painful bumps, lumps, spots or anything unusual always concern me. I have scheduled a CT scan so I can receive a more accurate diagnosis. On the one hand I always hope that it’s no big deal, but on the other hand, my history tells me, “You have a problem, sir.” The tumors in my lungs have been consistently larger this year and I still have a cancerous area on my head. It is clear that this disease is progressing and there is no definitive treatment. I am considering visiting MD Anderson again in Houston, TX. They are on the cutting edge of cancer research and perform several clinical trials. A clinical trial may be an option for me in the future however I would have to live in Houston while I was using the drug.
For the most part I am feeling well and more mobile so long as I sleep enough!!

happy new year

HAPPY NEW YEAR! We celebrated and ushered in the new year with friends, food and Wii Nintendo, which equals lots of fun. This year was a monumental year because we thought it would be fun to have Abbie join in on the festivities. Abbie loved staying up late and had lots of fun doing it. And by-the-way, she is really good at Wii bowling!